


Bad and Worse

by TheGirlWhoRemembers



Series: The Measure of Our Lives 'verse [1]
Category: MacGyver (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Episode Tag, Family, Friendship, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Mac Whump, Poor Mac, Seriously Why Can't He Be Happy?, Tag to 3.22 Mason + Cable + Choices, Team as Family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-11
Updated: 2019-05-18
Packaged: 2020-02-29 22:15:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,471
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18787306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheGirlWhoRemembers/pseuds/TheGirlWhoRemembers
Summary: The universe is not done with making Angus MacGyver suffer.Tag to 3.22, Mason + Cable + Choices.





	1. The Measure of Our Lives Preview

**Author's Note:**

> Spoilers. Seriously, lots of spoilers for 3.22, Mason + Cable + Choices, both in the fic and in my AN at the end.

**MACGYVER’S RESIDENCE**

**LA**

* * *

Mac didn’t come back out moments later with his dad in tow, and a couple of extra beers.

In fact, he didn’t come back out at all.

Bozer, in a way that would have been comical in another situation, stopped regaling Riley with his plans to immortalize Charlie as the hero of his next movie and poked his head around the doorframe, very, very briefly, and caught a glance of Mac sitting on the couch, his back to them, head in his hands.

He withdrew his head, turned back to the women, his face as down and _flat_ as Bozer ever was, full of concern, and gave a shake of his head.

Riley closed her eyes briefly, swallowing, and patted Bozer on the arm in comfort, even as she looked just as worried herself.

Matty and Desi exchanged a look, the Vietnamese-American woman not liking what she saw in their boss’s eyes.

She knew that Matty had more than some idea of what words must have been exchanged between the MacGyvers.

Heck, they _all_ did.

They’d all heard Mason’s words.

They all knew Mac.

And they all knew Jim.

(Or, more accurately in his case, Oversight.)

* * *

**THREE DAYS _AFTER_**

**COLOMBIA**

* * *

Desi took out one of the drug lord’s guards with a well-placed kick, before whirling around to check on her partner, who was working on disabling the nasty surprise he’d left.

He should have been done by now, but Mac was off his game.

She’d told Matty that herself (not that she should have needed to, because it was damn obvious to all of them), told their boss that he needed to be benched.

Matty had looked her in the eye and told her that benching Mac when he was in _this_ state was impossible (locking him in the Phoenix’s saferoom, even if it were undamaged, wouldn’t work), and even _more_ dangerous, both to him and the innocents they strove to save.

(Even a Mac off his game was one of the best, after all.)

(And, implicit in the way Matty had looked at her, Desi was one of the best too, and single-minded when it came to her job.)

Desi wasn’t yet convinced.

Another of the drug lord’s guards rushed him with a knife, and Mac reacted a half-second too late.

Desi didn’t.

The man had a bullet between his eyes before he could do more than nick the blonde.

Mac turned his head to look at her.

‘Thanks.’

She gave one nod of acknowledgement, then turned away to deal with any more potential threats.

When both of them were at their best, they could afford a little distraction, a little brevity and lightness and fun.

With Mac decidedly far from his best, and her at risk of getting distracted because of that, she couldn’t afford to be anything other than Agent Nguyen.

Or they’d both get killed, not to mention the families of the clean local policemen that the drug lord had kidnapped.

Honestly, to avoid that, Mac probably also needed a kick up the backside, and Desi wasn’t going to die wondering if that would help.

‘It’s my job. And you need to get your head back in the game, MacGyver. Stat.’

* * *

Later, on the jet on the way home, Desi glanced at Bozer and Riley as the pair of them gave up on trying to get Mac to do something, _anything_ other than destroy paperclips and stare into the distance, lost in his own head.

Truth or dare, tic tac toe, chess, three separate stupid stories, Bozer waxing lyrical about a new cake recipe he wanted to try, Riley asking if he had any upgrade ideas for her PlayStation controllers, five kinds of snacks…none of it got anything more than a perfunctory nod or _uh, huh_ or _no, thanks._

* * *

As Bozer visibly wilted, running out of ideas, Riley glanced at the other woman in the jet.

Of course, the hacker had picked up on the undercurrent of tension between the still-new-ish partners.

She’d kind-of been expecting it.

Desi thought Mac had to be benched because he was emotionally compromised. Because her primary goal was always to protect him, and because she was Desi, she’d have told him, point blank, that he _needed_ to snap out of it. She’d have been cold and composed and nothing but professional because she needed to focus and pick up the slack she perceived from Mac being off his game.

And that, Riley knew, would have hurt Mac, because he considered Desi a friend, and because of that now rather obvious crush.

Sometimes, Riley wondered how emotionally aware Desi was.

(She was well aware that Mac could be a little oblivious sometimes – she wasn’t sure if Mac had realized that Desi was _also_ attracted to him – but had expected better of Desi.)

(It was a little weird – more than a little weird, actually – to see Desi – badass, professional, intense, like a boss and about as warm as a stepmother’s kiss, according to Jack – act like a teenage girl with a massive crush around Mac, sometimes.)

(Maybe it came from being really emotionally repressed?)

Riley turned to look out the window.

_‘Maybe, in our line of work, we just don’t get to have that.’_

Mac’s words from that charity gala, all those months ago, echoed in her mind.

Firmly, she pushed away any and all images of Billy her mind tried to conjure up.

* * *

With Bozer distracted trying to distract Mac, and Riley staring out the window, Desi discreetly pulled out her phone and sent off a text.

_Call your boy again, ASAP. He needs you._

* * *

**FIVE DAYS _AFTER_**

**A CEMETARY**

**LA**

* * *

After the service, after the rest of the crowd had cleared, Bozer and Riley stood a respectful distance away, both holding umbrellas, as Mac crouched by Charlie’s new grave, forehead resting against the top of the gravestone, speaking words they could not hear. He was soaked through, and his nice black suit was probably ruined, but he didn’t seem to even notice.

Matty stood between them, under the shelter of their umbrellas, and when they glanced at each other, then down, they saw the same look (grief and sadness and worry and fear and anger and guilt and heartbreak and _love_ ) in her eyes as their own.

* * *

Patrolling the perimeter, just in case Elliot Mason decided that this was a good time for another psychological blow, Desi caught a glimpse of movement.

A moment later, Jim MacGyver came into her view, but remained out of sight of the others.

She didn’t blink, or glance back at Matty, Mac, Bozer and Riley.

(Desi was far from an amateur.)

She stared at her boss for a long moment, before giving a single, tiny nod, and continuing her patrol, letting him melt back into the trees at the edge of the graveyard.

Desi might not agree with Jim’s decision that fateful day, whenever it really was, but she understood _bad_ and _worse_ better than Mac and Bozer and Riley did.

* * *

**SIX DAYS _AFTER_**

**MACGYVER’S RESIDENCE**

* * *

‘…and then, there’s a bang, and Cousin George says to me, _we gotta run, Jack, the Terminator’s coming!_ And trust me, he was coming, and he wasn’t Arnie, and I was thinking, _man, we’re-‘_

Mac, Bozer and Riley were sitting on the couch, video-calling Jack on Mac’s phone, looking very sceptical and disbelieving as he relayed another one of his ridiculous, long-winded, pointless and plot-hole-heavy stories.

(Riley and Bozer had noted with lighter hearts that Mac really was smiling and laughing along with them, in a way that reached his eyes and didn’t seem forced, for the first time since the whole truth about Elliot Mason and his motivation for vengeance had come out.)

(Jack could always do that. Bozer swore up and down that it was perfect bromance magic.)

Then, suddenly, the call cut out.

Mac’s brow furrowed in concern, and he couldn’t help the fear coiling in his belly, as he tried to call Jack again, to reconnect.

(Jack was at HQ – wherever his current HQ was; they didn’t know more than somewhere in Eastern Europe – but sometimes, the connections could be a bit shoddy.)

(Still, it’d never cut out like this before.)

The call didn’t go through.

The gnawing fear and worry in his belly grew stronger, and he exchanged a glance with Bozer and Riley, seeing the same feelings reflected on their faces.

They were probably being paranoid, but could you blame them, after recent events?

Wordlessly, Riley held her hand out for Mac’s phone, grabbing her rig with her other hand.

She wasn’t supposed to trace Jack’s location, and it was protected with the best tech their government had, but she knew she could do it.

(After that, it’d just be a simple matter of getting eyes on it via a satellite – and she’d hack the Chinese if she had to to get the right positioning.)

Meanwhile, Bozer headed into the kitchen to make some hot chocolate to drink while they all laughed about being paranoid in ten minutes or so with Jack, once they got the connection back.

(At least, that’s what he told himself.)

And Mac, with all his strength, all his will, told that voice in his head that kept repeating _I have a bad feeling about this…no, no, no, I can’t do this, I can’t do this, not again, not more, not Jack…_ to shut up.

* * *

Nine minutes later, Riley made a horrified noise as a live feed of Jack’s HQ appeared on her laptop screen. A second later, tears began to pool in her eyes.

Bozer dropped his wooden spoon, not caring that it fell into the hot chocolate, and didn’t even remember to turn off the stove before running over. He stopped in his tracks when he saw the image on the screen, the one that Riley was watching through tears, the one that his best friend’s eyes were absolutely glued to.

The building had clearly been attacked. There were still, unmoving figures outside. Bodies.

And as they watched, a rocket was fired, and the building exploded.

The rubble left behind was worse than at the courthouse, worse than at the bottom of that elevator shaft.

Operating entirely on instinct, trying to tamp down his own tears and panic and fear and worry, Bozer reached down over the back of the couch, wrapped his right arm around Riley, who turned her head to bury her face into his shoulder, sobbing properly now, the left around Mac, who was completely and utterly frozen for a long, long moment.

After that moment, Bozer felt his left sleeve grow damp, and as best as he could, he squeezed his best friend’s shoulders in what little comfort he could offer.

‘He’s…he’s Jack Dalton, he’s more badass than two John McClanes, he’ll…he’ll be okay, he’s gotta be, I mean…’

Bozer, unfortunately, didn’t sound convincing to his own ears.

A minute later, Mac’s phone rang.

All three of them glanced at the caller ID.

_Matty Webber._

Riley’s tears fell a little faster. This wasn’t a nightmare, or a mistake…

Bozer squeezed her shoulders tighter.

With shaky hands, Mac reached out to answer it.


	2. The Measure of Our Lives Preview

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here’s a little ‘teaser’ for _The Measure of Our Lives_ , my DIY version of Season 4.

**SOMEWHERE IN THE BALKANS**

**(THE EXACT LOCATION IS CLASSIFIED)**

* * *

‘…and then, there’s a bang, and Cousin George says to me, _we gotta run, Jack, the Terminator’s coming!_ And trust me, he was coming, and he wasn’t Arnie, and I was thinking, _man, we’re-‘_

Jack, his feet up on a desk, was chatting with Mac, Bozer and Riley, enjoying some rare downtime that lined up with their downtime, when the call suddenly cut out.

A second later, the lights flickered ominously, and the power went out.

He glanced around the room, at Deacon, Fitzy, Munoz, Lanier and Worthy.

(All of ‘Dalton’s Heroes’, as they now called themselves, thanks to Mac, had been recalled when Kovac had turned out to be not-dead after all, except Thorpe.)

All of them had that same look on their faces.

Their guts were all telling them, _I have a bad feeling about this._

And when guys like them with their training and experience all got that gut feeling, you knew it was about to go south.

Real south.

Munoz grabbed his laptop, which still had power, and tried to bring up the feeds from their cleverly-hidden security cameras, but got nothing.

Hands shifted to weapons.

Jack’s radio crackled to life.

‘We’re…under attack…he…’

It cut out after a gunshot.

Weapons came out and were checked. At least three of them touched their boots, near their ankles, double-checking that the back-up to the back-up was there.

(Old habits died hard.)

‘What’s the plan, boss?’

Jack addressed Munoz, even as he assessed the situation.

‘Told you not to call me that, man.’

‘Hey, it’s Dalton’s Heroes, not Fitzy’s, so you _are_ the boss, Dalton.’

Fitzy, predictably, made an affronted noise at Munoz’s retort.

That familiar banter, that way of keeping some light in the darkness, brought grim smiles to all the men’s faces.

Jack, too, smiled grimly as he considered, checking the magazine in his gun out of habit.

Their position inside HQ was pretty defensible, with plenty of furniture for barricades and cover, and the various doors provided chokepoints.

But this was Tiberius Kovac, who definitely wanted them all six feet under and deader than dodos.

(Who else would it be, after all?)

Kovac would have brought plenty and plenty of firepower. They’d be severely out-gunned and out-numbered.

Besides, knowing him and his thing for blowing up buildings, he’d just launch a rocket at HQ.

They were dead if they stayed here.

Jack dove under his desk, grabbed his knife and tore out a section of carpet, revealing a trapdoor in the floor.

A secret escape hatch.

Which probably wasn’t super-secret, since it connected to a network of tunnels from the Balkan War.

Kovac probably knew it was there already. Hell, he might have a map of the tunnels, and an ambush all set up.

They might be dead men if they went down there too.

But, in Jack’s mind, it was better to die bringing the fight to the baddies then waiting for them to get to you.

‘We’re getting outta here, boys.’

He looked around, saw that same knowledge and acceptance and that touch of fear and sadness on their faces.

With a pang, he was reminded of Honduras, in that cabin, and of course, that reminded him of Mac.

This time, there wouldn’t be Mac buying them time with something genius and crazy and weird that only he could do, and Matty swooping in to save them.

They were on their own.

There were affected nonchalant shrugs all around the room.

‘Blood makes the grass grow.’

‘Shame to stain the carpet.’

‘Hoo-rah!’

They headed into the tunnels.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the rest of this ‘episode’, please see _The Measure of Our Lives_ , which is now up. There will be no more updates to this story, so please either subscribe to _The Measure of Our Lives_ or me to get update notifications. If you don’t wish to do that, the posting schedule should be fairly regular – check back Sundays Australian time!

**Author's Note:**

> *dun dun dun* Okay, okay, I know you guys hate me right now, but maybe this will make you feel less inclined to attack me?
> 
> This is the lead-in to my version of Season 4! You guys know the drill by now – I write a take on the next season of MacGyver while we wait for the next one! My Season 4 will be called _The Measure of Our Lives_ , and here’s the press release for ‘4.01’.
> 
> 4.01, Homemade. A desperate Kovac attacks the HQ of Jack’s taskforce, apparently leaving no survivors. The grieving team is tasked with finishing Jack’s last mission, but they’re in for a surprise. For once, it’s a good one.
> 
> See? :P I’m currently planning it out, and am very hopeful of getting the first ep up next Sunday, my time. I am also pretty sure that this year, I’ll be able to do weekly updates…though maybe I shouldn’t jinx myself. 
> 
> Thoughts on the ep: Much better than the last two eps, in my opinion. It was heart-breaking (Charlie!), and oh, poor, poor, poor Mac…
> 
> In terms of the developments – Mason is certainly an interesting villain, with plenty of hints of depth. He shall be a wily adversary for the MacGyvers for as long as this show runs, I’m sure. I was worried he’d be too much like Murdoc, but I think they did a good job – he has a more measured personality, a calmer and less eccentric demeanour, and besides, he’s revenge-motivated and ultimately fixated on Jim (rather than Murdoc who just likes killing people and is obsessed with Mac). In terms of what went on with Mac and his dad – well, on one hand, I’m thinking that this feels a little bit like just trying to add drama because they’ve been getting along too well lately, on the other hand, I also think that conflict of this type was always going to happen between the MacGyvers – Jim understands having to choose between bad and worse (and he will choose, and sleep at night after choosing, even if he carries it with him), whereas Mac will not choose, instead, he will do everything (including give his own life) to break the rules and save everyone. Jim is, as Mason described, a shadow genius – he’s a puppetmaster. One for the greater good, yes, and one with a conscience, but still one. Mac won’t play with other people’s lives, or manipulate them – he’ll just keep throwing himself into danger to save everyone else. He might work for a clandestine organization, but you could hardly describe Mac as a shadow genius! Mac/Desi was better in this ep than in 3.21 (awkward!Mac!), and I did like their mentions of Jack, and Bozer, Riley, Mac and Matty’s little moment at the end. We also got to see angry!Mac and some of his dark side in this one, in punching Mason and the water taunt/denial – which I suppose means Mason is a Murdoc-grade villain, officially! Still – favourite character and character moments in this story belong to Charlie Robinson (his and Mac’s fist-bump, and him trying to reassure Mac and asking that promise of him…and the moment when Charlie sacrifices his life, Riley sobs and Bozer hugs her, and Mac just stares into the distance…). (I really like Charlie Robinson, and them killing him off kinda destroyed my plans for one of the eps in my take on Season 4…)


End file.
